i have a confession... is it just a phase?

Storytime with Ruby

hey there, 

Yesterday evening, as I drove home from teaching a yoga class, the mountains already dark, I caught myself thinking of my ex. The scene that warmed itself into my mind was of us sitting across from each other at dinner, laughing, ordering something culinarily edgy, me dressed up, sharing a bottle of cab sav. And the feeling of missing washed over me. 

I remember the day I broke up with him; something shattered. I think deep down we both knew we wouldn't be together forever, still in that moment everything changed. Life became different. Who I was before that moment didn't exist anymore. 

It was the end of an era.

Six weeks-ish later I remember being on the phone with Kate. I was walking out of my orange tiny house I'd just moved into, and I'm sure it must've been the day before I got a giant butterfly tattooed on my right thigh. I said, "Kate, I need you to be really honest with me. Is this all just a phase I'm going through?"

She laughed. "Isn't life just a series of phases that we go through, Ruby?"

Relief and understanding washed over me.

And ain't that the TRUTH?!

Putting it into perspective like that, it was like something clicked into place:

Everything gets to belong. I'm right on time. I can trust myself.

Literally nine days later I met my husband; the beginning of a new era. And we've already shared several phases in our relationship in the three years we've been together.

So yeah, sometimes I miss my ex. 

The missing doesn't mean wishing it was still that way. It's just missing. And most truthfully, it's that version of myself that I miss and look back on fondly more than it is about him. There's a layer of grief to knowing who I used to be, and a layer of deep appreciation at seeing how far I've come.

Believing that a phase is a bad thing is an old, limiting belief that keeps us trapped in not enoughness. Sometimes we get to choose our eras, sometimes life nudges us into them. Either way, it's good to have phases. It is more than okay to evolve and change. Embracing transitions is what keeps life exciting and helps us grow. So, if you're in the midst of a new phase, approaching the end of an era, or ready to dive headfirst into the next, go with the flow and enjoy the ride. 

In honor of our eras, Kate and I are hosting two free classes, From Not Enough to Owning Your YOU Era, January 17th & February 21st. 

Envision a future where you express yourself without hesitation, and act in your own self-interest and self-respect without shame.

We'd love to see you there!

Here's to your YOU era. 

You're Doing Great,
Ruby